Idiomatic madness

"You can't have your cake and eat it too."
What a phrase.
What on earth does this mean?
Why can't I eat the cake that I clearly have?
If it's is my cake, what is it that prevents me from eating it?

Who would be sadistic enough to give someone cake and then not let them eat it?
More importantly why would anyone give ME cake and then not let me eat it?

Does this phrase mean that I cannot eat my cake and keep it? Well, why would I do that anyhow? Who really wants moldy cake? It's not like the phrase says a fake cake, or a permanently perserved cake.

So...
I would love to know where this phrase came from. And I would love to eat all of my cake.

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