Caramel center kind of life

When you get the dark chocolate truffle filled with the creamy caramel center and you take the first warm gooey bite, that moment, that delight filled moment is one to be celebrated!

When you open a box from far away and find the perfect bauble or do-dah and hold that something in your hand that a dear one held in their hand and chose for you. Sheer joy.

Or when the phone rings and the voice on the other end soothes your busy mind with its message of love and support. That second is happiness.

It is the small, tiny fractions of time that add joy and vibrancy to life. It is the moments, the seconds, the freeze frame images of people and places, sounds and smells that come back to haunt us in nostalgic days and dreaming evenings.

This moment, watching the snow fall and paint the world white was stellar.

Watching Oliver with his Dad, both watching the world turn into a flakey white place was awesome.

Smelling the fresh cinnamon rolls that Cheryl made, and snapping the bakery pamphlet perfect image of them. Priceless.
It's a busy time of year for most of us. Many of my friends are stressed to the max with finals and papers and lack of motivation. And yet, in the middle of panic mode, we have all found our caramel center seconds. The seconds that make our days worth their weight in gold.

Paging Dr. Ama

my roommate and i have a new phrase. whenever the gossip, hoopla, idiocy and drama begins to swirl, this tiny phrase is what gets shouted out.

'Paging Dr. Ama. Paging Dr. Ama'
(say it... it makes more sense when you verbalize it...)

the tendency to be overwhelmed by the drama, by the stories i hear and live, tends to be easy for me. it's not that i want some stage production of my life, or the details of everyone's daily life broadcast about constantly, but i think there is something to it all.

i want to know. i want to be invested in others. what happens to my friends and family matters to me. the time i take to listen and respond is important. the gift of attention creates a bond of intimate connection that can never really be broken. it is in the listening, the being present for the story of someone, that you prove they matter.

and really, in all of the show, i want to know i matter to someone too.

(For God so loved me, that He sent Jesus - John 3:16 JV)

Reflections

The sunset off the glass of some houses near Silver Beach, MI.

The sun shines on them and they shine back. They are not the sun, but they glow like the sun.

The Son shines on me and i shine back. i am not the Son, but i can glow from His glory.
Do i reflect God? Can others see Him in me?

Sunset swinging

Makes you want to swing hey?

It was as if the sky was the biggest movie theater ever and i was the sole patron in the theater. The wind was whipping past my ears, flinging sand recklessly at the parking lot behind me and the sky was a huge brass band playing it's lively tune.

A song popped in my head - How great is our God! How great is our God!

It sure made me want to swing...on the arms of my Savior.

Anonymous

Sometimes i wish the blog were anonymous, so i could write thoughts that plague me without fear of creating drama...

2 years

It's been two years since this wee blog began. So much has changed and so much has happened! I am amazed every time i see the new things and people around me how quickly the world changes and moves. The pace of life is fast (and picks up speed as i age) though i do believe it is only humans who are stunned by the passage of time.

And I got to thinking...what can you do in two years?

I've done this:
quit a job
sold most everything i own
moved to MI
started a master's program
shoveled my driveway 13 times (then got lazy and let the snow pile up!)
traveled to Peru
thanked God for rainbows
visited Jordan
praised God for Jesus
met my niece
shouted for joy at Chloe's beauty
watched my friends get hitched
met new babies - Megan, Caleb, Oliver
continued school
broke an arm
watched God heal my arm quickly
raced in a group triathlon
prayed
said bye to winter
said hello again to winter
went to the Tulip Fest
sang in public
painted buildings
stood on the temple mount in Jerusalem

What a life! What a joy! How blessed I am! And more than anything it is not the things, the stuff, the doing that is so great. It is the living. It is being able to experience, to try, to learn, to grow that is the blessing. I like the way Solomon puts it "Everyone should eat and drink and enjoy the good of all his work, it is the gift of God!" Eccl 3:13

Have you celebrated your gift today?

Food Junkie

My friend spent today doing one of the things i most love to do. She spent the day baking and cooking. Her blog is amazingly full of delicious recipes, which make me hungry. So in honor of Angela - a list of things i love to make...in no particular order! (and all pictures have been mercilessly borrowed from the internet)

1) snickerdoodles

2) black bean tacos with avocado dressing













3) granola (made some with dried mango that is amazing!)

4) tiramisu

5) pumpkin risotto

6) sweet corn & basil polenta

7) butternut squash soup

8) cranberry walnut biscotti

9) fudge - just like mom used to make

Flowers

Today I received the most amazingly beautiful gift of love.

Amazing!

Beautiful!

There is nothing quite like the gift of flowers.

What I know so far

So another year, another birthday has flown past. But in the many, many, many years I have lived this is some of what I have learned.

1) The world is always best when seen with a buddy

2) When I'm laughing at someone, best make sure it's me.

3) Drama comes when invited. Will I watch it pass, or become lead actress?

4) Some things don't get better with age. Temper tantrums? Kids screaming and throwing themselves on the ground isn't cute. Neither is a 28 year old doing it.

5) When I get to thinking I am all that, all I need to do is go back through the old yearbooks. That'll keep the old ego in check.

6) I can have my cake and eat it too. However, as I age, it sticks with me longer.

7) I like the world better through coffee eyes. The world likes me better that way too.

8) A chance to sleep? Take it. Sleep is more elusive in these 'midday' years of life.

9) PB and J is good food. (So there Top Chef!)

10) Do not, under any circumstances, tell someone they are 'hot' if you have no intentions of doing anything about that hotness. What a waste of breath.

11) Swinging on the playground swings is really a good workout.

12) Dressing up always makes you feel better. Even if it's midnight and you are just running to Dunkin' Donuts to get over heartbreak.

13) Tell people the good stuff. I'll never regret sharing my blessings.

And another thing I learned....
14) We ALL have cooties at one time or another. Get over it!

Dream House

This adorable little cabin is on a small river that runs through Concord, Massachusetts.
Directly across the river from this delightful cabin is a huge field and rolling hill that is the site where the first shots were fired against British troops on the fateful 19th of April 1775.

I love the idyllic setting for this scene. The quiet water, the purple flowers growing, the dock down to the waters edge. Almost makes me want to put down roots!

As I stood on the bridge that overlooks both the field and the river I was reminded that there is a figurative river for me to cross too. And home is on the other side. I have always felt like a displaced person here and I am coming to realize that that is a truth for all of mankind. I am not meant to be here, so far from God, away from right and good. I am not made to be apart from my Creator.

And He is prepping a place for me to live on His side of the river. And I can hardly wait to go home.

No more

This is the number one reason why there shall be no more blueberry picking for me in capris.

Stinging nettles and poison ivy.

Message from a bottle

On the lake shore, this small brown bottle was discovered. Empty.
By all appearances useless, except as trash. If you uncapped it, there was a strong smell of a dangerous substance lingering in a glassy tomb.
For all intents and purposes it seemed to be yelling to be filled.
Filled with sand, or water and light or air, but filled.

What is the point of a vessel if not to carry something?

And this bottle now rests on my shelf. A stark reminder that I must be filled too (or rinsed and aired out) to rid myself of the dangerous stench of a deadly substance. Sin reaches my insides and I must have it all cleaned out so that I don't reek. (Does anyone else get the mental pictures of washing out the stalls at the zoo here?)

And wonder of wonders is that I can be filled. And not with just anything like sand or air, but by the most fragrant and amazing scent in existence.
The form of Christ Himself.

What is the point of me if not to carry Christ?

"He who descended is also the One who ascended far above the heavens, so that He might fill all things' - Ephesians 4:10
(emphasis mine)

Beauty is a beast

It is not often I wear make-up. Nor is it often that many of my friends do so either. But when Karen called and said 'Make-up Party!' we all went racing over like 7 year old girls on a I'm-a-princess journey and had a blast.

We primped and polished and groomed and laughed at our silliness. We knew, however, that we were on a VERY serious mission. Defunk and pretty up. We took very serious 'Before' shots as you can see. (This getting serious thing is really a foreign concept!)

And by the end of the evening we were spiffed up (with no place to go, might I add disappointedly). We all were happy to be around friends, to be pampered and then head out to new adventures. (I think we all went home to bed in reality, but getting make-up off is an adventure...)

I am reminded after having spent a night with the girls that beauty is not just about the makeup, but about how you are made up. It does not matter what you wear on the outside, but what you carry on the inside. Beauty comes to many people today with a heavy price tag. And yet it is the beauty of the heart and soul that allows us love our friends. So, here are some of my most beautiful friends. Those who carry themselves with grace and poise, with compassion and love. And also with a stunning outer beauty that floors me daily.

Flying is such sweet sorrow. (You have to land eventually...)

A friend of mine now has his private pilots license. Do you know how awesome it is when someone you know can fling a pieced together hunk of metal and fabric skyward and hurdle you through the sky???

And I have now had the joy of zipping through the sky in a plane with him at the helm. We drove to Indiana to pick up a friend and fly back after stopping off at a summer camp to see some other friends.

This is the airport in Podunk, IN. No...that isn't it's real name, but I can't remember back that far... and yes, that is the moon in the top left corner. It was out bright that night.
This shot is right before we loaded into the plane to fly back to MI, Jesse, Brianna, Brooks and Matt pow wowed before take-off. It was fun to stand on a runway about 10 PM and know that soon, you would be racing through the sky overhead unseen and yet heard.

Most Beautiful Girl in the World

This May the world was blessed to welcome the most beautiful girl in the world.
My niece, Chloe Lynn, was born May 2, 2007.
This is her (and her hot Mom, my sis Tara)

Fireflies light up the night

In the warm summer months here in Michigan-land we have a naturally occurring night light...
only this one blinks. Fireflies.
I love to walk around in the evenings and watch the blinking sky.

In a recent class a professor of mine mentioned a man who had studied the Aurora Borealis and found that they emit sound waves and whenever they show up the light makes a symphony (unheard till now by the human ear) of sound that rocks the skies. A fellow student asked what the fireflies must sound like every night.

And I got to wondering.... What do they sound like?

Jordan Day 21, July 2

I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again....

But I hope it is soon. Jordan is amazing. I love the heat, the sun, the food, the people...

Security in the airport here is amazing. The US has nothing on them... You walk in the door, take all of your luggage through one check point with metal detectors. They hand search your luggage and you (ladies all get patted down by ladies) and send you to check in. Your bags get resent through another X-ray machine and you have to go through another two before even getting to your gate. Then before boarding the plane, your hand luggage is rechecked. AMAZING!

13 hours (or so) on the plane home. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Not nearly as fun as digging in the dirt. Guaranteed.

So here are some random shots from the trip that I like. Enjoy.

Poppies growing in the desert. These were right near our field, near the cemetary.

Working in our field. The guys are moving heavy rocks. The grunting and the heat make it all the more fun. Wish you could capture those in a picture.
Field D at Pizza Hut celebrating being cool. Yep. "Field D -We find stuff." From L - R Amanda, Stephanie, Me, Sean, Dustin, Scottie, Young and Jen. An awesome team.

Jerusalem. The Gag Reel.

Dustin trying to blow the Shofar. He got it to squeak very nicely. And he turned a lovely shade of red.

Amanda looked like this all weekend. Perma grin! We kept wandering around saying "Hey guess what? We're in Jerusalem!"





This is why the locals laugh at the tourists. We look like we are at the zoo. On the other side of the fence? A valley. And Jordan eventually.










And here is why we take Bacon along with us. He is always camera ready.














Yeah for bad self-portraits! Yeah for flat hair!

Jordan Day 20, July 1

Today: one item on the agenda

See the Dome of the Rock
The place where the Temple Mount was, where God lived physically with His people.

I cried standing there. To be where God lived is both stunning and crushing. Stunning that God physically was there. Crushing that He is not now.
Makes me very thankful to have Him everywhere!

This city is captivating. Alluring. Sad. And hopeful.
This is the Damascus Gate, my last exit from the old city.

Jordan Day 19, June 30

An amazing Sabbath spent in Jerusalem. We walked from our hotel the the great synagogue in West Jerusalem. An interesting service completely in Hebrew, with Torah kissing and chanting and singing. Very different from what I am used to and thus a great experience. I must say I enjoy sitting with my dad and male friends in church, whereas in this synagogue, as with many I am sure, the women sit upstairs away from the men and, in my mind, from the service.

After stopping by the Adventist church headquarters of Israel, we walked back to the old city and meandered. It was just inside the Jaffa Gate that I found these scattered on the ground. Figs. Lots of them. And I was reminded that Christ cursed a fruitless tree not far from here. But this tree was throwing caution to the wind and the ground was littered with figs. A blessing for the day.
We stopped in at a quaint little church called St. Anne's and in the same area is a little place known as the Pool of Bethesda. Here people were healed and cleansed. And here is the group, tired and dirty, but loving the journey. Dustin, Ryan, Walter, Amanda and Rachel.And here is what the pools look like now. Not so wet, not so healing. More like a wreck of a city in a desert.
The cream of the day however was the awe of sitting on the Mount of Olives watching the sun set. To see that shining sphere drop past the horizon. lighting up the Dome of the Rock, the city walls, the trees around us was awesome. We sang some songs and read some scripture and I think we all left that hill reminded that God is coming back and a new Jerusalem is on the way soon!

Jordan Day 18, June 29

No work today, in the traditional sense of the word, but some of us loaded up in a bus and raced off to Jerusalem!

Going to Jerusalem has always been on my '50 top things to do before I die' list, so it was amazing, AMAZING to be there.
Security getting across the border is insane. If you think that the US is tight at airports and borders, you should hit Jordan and Israel. Of course I understand their hesitation to let people traipse about freely, and I respect their amazing checks and rechecks. This is what the border crossing looks like, bare and desolate. It reminds me a lot of no mans land in Europe when we were kids, except for desert rather than forest. The King Hussein Bridge is new and crosses over the Jordan River, or what may best be called the Jordan Trickle. We flew by it so fast I didn't even have a chance to snap a shot of it, it's so small. With the shortage of water in the area the river has been severely depleted from its former grandeur. The children of Israel could easily step over it now...
Once arriving we checked into our hotel and hit the road to see the old city. The walls that stand today were built in the 1400's and it's amazing to see. Mostly the roads are slick due to wear, and the creamy walls make you feel very surrounded and even a bit claustrophobic in spots where the roof covers markets and shops and crowds of swarming people.


This is a shot of the Via Dolorosa, right by the church of the flagellation and the church of the crown of thorns both where Christ is thought to have been whipped and crowned with thorns. There are old paving stones that have a gambling game still etched into them which is similar to the game the soldiers would have played to win Jesus' robe. We did encounter group after group of pilgrims who were walking the entire Via Dolorosa and on this stretch even ran into a Korean group singing the well known song in Korean.




Being so excited to be in the city we went straight to the Western Wall, the last remaining part of the structure built by King Herod in the 1st century. It is a very tall wall, very well worn with white slips of papers slipped into cracks. Men and women are separated and a large divider marks off new excavations that are happening off to the right of the wall, under a tall wooden ramp that leads to the Dome of the Rock mosque.We walked around the old city all afternoon, strolling past bagel shops, buying yarmulkes, peering into dark churches filled with lanterns and 'holy' sites. Inside the Church of the Holy Sepulechure, the location that is most likely truthfully where Christ was laid after his death, was dark and smoky filled with candles representing prayers. It was very ornate and filled with incense inside the building, but the candles flickering, so many words and pleas and thanks being shown visibly flying heavenward, was humbling. Humbling to know that God hears all of those prayers and all of those that are never lit on a candle, and He answeres them too.

We greeted Sabbath at the Western Wall (formerly the Wailing Wall, though renamed in 1967 when Israel was named a country and a Jewish state) with much celebration and joy. It is amazing to hear shouts of joy and see dancing to celebrate the Sabbath start. What joy! I can only imagine that heaven will be such a celebration x 10!

Jordan Day 17, June 28th

My last day on the dig today. Not my last day here in the lovely Middle East, but the last day of digging. It's been fun. I got tan, saw many days dawn, made friends that will last a lifetime. And you call this archeology!
Cecilia issued a challenge to the guys today. If they could get their field level in an hour, they got a chocolate bar. I have never seen so much dirt fly! Here are Zayeed, Bacon and Fayeez picking away.
Scottie and Sylvia found rings in their pit today. There have been such good finds this season, that rumors of a return trip next summer are flying about. Here is Scottie drawing a top plan of his square.
The girls and I went to Pizza Hut tonight to celebrate being girls. What fun to have such great friends here! Here is Amanda (cursh - not crush, but cursh...) and I early in the AM, ready for a day of hard labor. End the job with smiles!

Jordan Day 16, June 27

Was back to work today. The heat is on and it was lovely to be out in it. We did get to go to the police station to get fingerprinted and get our visas extended. Wahoo. I am on file in Jordan!

I realized while sitting on the bus coming back from the station, with the smell of hot sand, diesel and cooking food wafting through the window that I am not ready to come back in 5 days.

Jordan Day 15, June 26

Another day spent sick. Still had a bit of a fever this Am so I stayed behind, but had an all around productive day. I went with my roommate to the Suq (shopping is far easier than working I find...) and we got to see the Roman theater and citadel in town.
We went for a dip in the pool at the hotel which is the only olympic sized pool in Jordan apparently. Ate a small lunch and then washed some pottery and took a nap.
Amanda and I decided we needed adventure so we grabbed a taxi to Mecca Mall. Yep. The Mall. It's monster huge and just as frightening as any mall in the US. They did have a Starbucks though, which was nice.
Turned in early. Sick has it's advantages I guess:)

Jordan Day 14, June 25

I am sick. I think it is a cold, but I have a slight fever and a sore throat and am staying at the hotel today. Only 3 more digging days and then we have a free weekend to travel...So I had best heal fast!

Jordan Day 13, June 24

5:30 was peaceful and still and quiet as Eva and I padded down to the gate and the guard let us in early. 5:58 found us as the first guests to enter Petra and we enjoyed a quiet hike down the Siq, past the Treasury and toward the tombs across from the Roman theater. We saw the Urn tomb, the Palace Monument and some others whose names escape me. We then traipsed across some hills to see some Byzantine/Nabbatean ruins of churches on the hills. Amazing mosaics inside the lowest of the three structures, blue marble columns from Egypt in the second structure and an eagle eye view from the top structure all lead to a majestic experience on a mountain top.

The Urn Tomb, thus named for an urn found on the top. Creative, no?

The Blue Marble Columns. They really are blue and they are in perfect condition as opposed to the sandstone that is being eroded away rapidly.
Mosaics in the aisles of a church, celebrating God's creative power.
We only had a short time at Petra today so we headed back to the hotel to shower and load onto the bus.

I could move to Petra in an instant. Not to marry a Bedouin (though I did buy the book 'Married to a Bedouin' which is great so far), nor would I be allowed to live alone there (women just don't do that here), so I guess being a tour guide is in my near future. I had best learn a couple more languages.

It's amazing to be standing on sand that has had so much happen on it before I had ever even heard of it. What a stunning (and very gritty) reminder of how small I truly am. This is my feet in the sands of Petra.